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The Tomb of the Richmond Vampire.

Apparently there is a new genre of Vampires.  You know the ones.  I won’t mention the series but I will give you a hint.  It appears that, among other things, they sparkle.  Yes, you read that right.  They sparkle.

Well this is new.  I mean in all my years of reading and researching, I have never once run across this aspect of the whole Vampire experience.  Until now.

I have a theory though as to why this might be (work with me now).  I wonder if the whole sparkly aspect has come about through misdirection and distraction?  So that you don’t notice the other aspect of the new and “improved” Vampire ?  And this brings me to the real point of this post.

Dude.  You have blood on your face.

Here, have a hanky.  Please do keep it.

Everywhere I look I see Vampires with blood dripping down their chins, covering their clothes, and some look like they bathed in the blood!  Its in our art, its on book covers, and the Halloween industry just loves to push this to the max with makeup and fake blood.  And don’t get me started on TV and the movie industry.

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1921 Book of Etiquette Found on Amazon.com

O.K. I get it.  The blood is the life.  A Vampire needs it to survive.  But, seriously, did their mothers never teach them manners before they shuffled off this mortal coil?  Does the new Vampire feel that in order to impress his or her victim they must be covered in this stuff?

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Bran Castle, Transylvania, wikipedia.org

Call me old fashioned, but the Vampires I cut my teeth on (pun intended) had class.  They wore elegant attire, had sexy accents, lived in castles.  They did not ravage their victims, rather they seduced them.  As I got older, I would run across funny vampires (think Grandpa from the Munsters), and horrific Vampires (Nosferatu), and finally come full circle with the exquisite Vampires from the novels written by Anne Rice.  Now those are Vampires.  Educated, philosophical, and very very neat.  No bad table manners here.

Bram Stoker had it right.  “Listen to them – children of the night. What music they make.”  My Vampires are not green (am I the only one who thinks Vampire Bill looks like a moldy younger version of Elvis?).  Oh to be sure, there is now and again a trickle of blood, and perhaps an image of a blood filled mouth, but they do not sparkle, and they are not misfit zombie wannabees covered in blood and gore.

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The Vampire Lestat as seen on http://www.nola.com

When I see children running around on Halloween night with blood covered faces, well, it just brings out the mother in me.  I want to wash their faces off.  Poor things.

I could continue this rant, but I have to end this now.  I need to find some eyewash.  Seems I got some glitter in my eye.

Author’s Note:  The picture at the beginning of this post is one of mine, and is the tomb of the Richmond Vampire.  Yes, Virginia, there are Vampires, and one is apparently buried here.

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